The usually hilarious and brutally honest comedian, Kevin Hart, was more drunk and reckless than funny this weekend when he was pulled over for “suspicion” of drunk driving.  According to the police report, there were other “objective signs of intoxication.” Subjectively speaking, if I saw someone speeding fast and furiously on a freeway and headed toward a gas tanker, I would be suspicious, too. What “objective” means in law enforcement-ease in this context, is beyond my civilian brain. As for the female passenger he had in the car who later went home in a taxi, there is no objectivity. She was stupid … but lucky. Hopefully, women everywhere realize how his flashy Mercedes almost became a star-struck woman’s coffin.

Mr. Pineapples gave a public and contrite response but the magnitude of what could’ve happened would seem right out of a Die Hard movie. Sadly, although not his intention, his response will be construed as heroic or “keeping it real” by his fanatic following.

“Ah, that’s Kevin Hart. He said he was sorry,” I can hear his groupies saying.

To the cops, at the time of the arrest, “why waste our time. I’m drunk man.” I guess it could be worse, he could have tried to fight the cops and resist arrest.  But have you seen his stand up? Kevin isn’t a fighter, but he is a helluva provider. Though he will be providing a little extra to the state of California.

“Drinking & driving is not a game or a laughing matter. People have lost lives because of stupid … this!,” he said on his Twitter account.

I’ll give him that. That is correct. But the statement seems a bit detached. It should say, “people could’ve have lost their lives because of me.” I wonder if the people on the freeway that day realize how close they came to losing their lives over something “stupid.”

Photo credit: PerezHilton.com

*Photo is not from the night in question.