I hate your Face … bookSeptember 9th, 2012 | Posted by in Media | News | Pop Culture | Social Media | The Rant
Facebookers unite and DISLIKE! Factions of social media are declaring war on Facebook users and their posting habits under the stigma of “overshare” or in Facebook jargon, IDGAF. Recently, Mashable (et tu cara mia?) listed 20 Things Your Most Annoying Friends Do on Facebook. Dictating what one ought to share, when to share it and to what degree is nothing short of social media bullying. Everyone likes to think that they are not annoying but according to this list, EVERYONE is.
However, LMBO, we have all had moments of irritation, ennui, shock, disbelief over some asinine, vague, scandalous or random post in our newsfeed. It is part of the appeal of the book of faces. But once we lose sight of each person’s right to post to their heart’s content, social media is no longer social. It becomes a Mean Girls club. We can only hope everyone would use common sense and your powers for good. But, if you still don’t like it, just block it.
Here’s part of the list, and how I wish I could see your horrified faces when you realize just how “annoying” you are:
And, I’m paraphrasing.
1. Baby Highlight Reel - So people are tired of the barage of baby pictures and milestone updates? Then this is what I have to say: Block Me Boo. BMB, because as a parent you are responsible for the life and course of another human being. There is no greater responsibilty. That coupled with the fact that I make beautiful babies and have managed to get them to these milestones relatively unscathed is an accomplishment in and of itself. Why? Because no parent ever believes he or she is doing a perfect job. We could always do better. So, whenever, a picture is posted of a smiling and healthy child, that parent is posting a sigh of relief, “hey, I haven’t screwed this up yet.”
2. “Vaguebooking” - Basically, these are random ass thoughts with no context. In other words, these are my specialty … jajaja. I will admit what makes me bananas are random smiley faces in status updates. Did doctors tell you you would never smile again? Instead of vaguebooking, I am partial to cray-booking. That’s when crazy people are too crazy to know they are crazy and post all their crazy. These make me” :)” .
3. Check-ins - If anyone has a problem with another person’s check-in, chances are it’s because you wish you were there. Check-ins actually help others broaden their social horizons rather than frequenting the same old haunts. Note: Ask before you tag others. Discretion levels vary person to person.
4. Political rants - Facebook is like an online party and nothing will kill the party faster than talk of politics, religion and the Miami Dolphins. But if you are a poltical ranter, chances are YDGAF, anyway. It’s your face and your book, write what you want. Remember, you can control your guest list but not the guests.
5. Open book- For some people, Facebook is cathartic, therapeutic, and a way to blow off steam. Plus, Facebook can’t block your calls, sue you, or file a restraining order on you.
6. Table for two: So now couples should stop taking up so much cyber real estate and consolidate Facebook pages? You can’t have it both ways. If you find couples gushing of their love fest sickening then assuming one identity should be revolting. This may work for many couples but should not be imposed on all couples. Every relationship is different. One profile does not fit all.
7. Arm triangle - Ladies, stop posing with your hand on your hip. It just screams “look at my skinny arm, so you don’t see the rest of my lard butt.” Hey, that’s what the article is saying. I’m not complaining. I’m still trying to perfect the Forever 25 pose.
8. Gym bragging - OH HELL TO THE NO! Don’t hate because the only heavy plates you lift come with a side of fries and heart attack. OK, that was harsh. But any form of self-improvement should be met with support not contempt. That may be more a reflection of your character than the other person’s.
Seriously, people. If you find yourself rolling your eyes at a couple’s weekend getaway, a child’s first day of school, someone’s personal accountability for getting healthier, or a person bravely expressing a wounded heart, then its time you take a break from Facebook. Come back when you remember why you opened a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Foursquare and Zoosk account. To feel connected and somehow validated.
Nevertheless, there is no magic formula for perfect sharing and the old adage applies here. You can’t please everyone. As for me, if you don’t like what you see, BMB – block me boo. I still love you though, ;).
For a full list go to 20 Things Your Most Annoying Friends Do on Facebook.