Ladies get out your false eyelashes and men shave your chests because “Dancing With The Stars” announced its highly anticipated fall line-up on Monday night. This season’s contestants run the gamut from 80s icons, reality pop tarts to sports heroes and sultry songbirds. Really, it’s just a motley crew without any actual members of Motley Crue. But, wouldn’t it be friggin awesome to see Nikki Sixx doing the Charleston or lambada? Its too fantastic –- no, too hairtastic — not to happen. Nevertheless, let’s examine DWTS’s latest cast.
The ladies: Brandy, Jennifer Gray, Margaret Cho, Audrina Patridge, Florence Henderson and Bristol Palin.
The men: David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Kurt Warner, Michael Bolton, Rick Fox and Kyle Massey.
My sentimental female favorite is Jennifer Gray. Baby is a cancer survivor and she has to bring it home for Johnny, RIP. As for Florence Henderson, though she is no comedic master like Cloris Leachman or Betty White, she is a classy lady and that should get her through a couple rounds.
My sentimental male favorite is The Hoff. What can I say? I’m a sucker for an underdog, especially if that underdog drove a badass talking Trans Am during a defining time in my childhood. You know who else drove a Trans Am? The Situation, if not him I’m sure someone from his Staten Island family did.
The 11th season of DWTS premieres Sept. 20 at 8 p.m.