“Saturday Night Live” returns this week, its 34th season-opener seeping with mystery and anticipation:

  • Will host Michael Phelps sink or swim?
  • Will Tina Fey play Sarah Palin?
  • Will Maya Rudolph return as Michelle Obama?
  • How will the writers use Barack Obama, who is stopping by for a cameo?
  • How many times will Lil Wayne grab his crotch?