Well, rumor has it that He-Man is slashing his way back to the big screen (possibly riding on the back of heman-pitt.jpga green tiger) and the producers are supposedly eyeing Brad Pitt for the title role. Being that I own every He-Man episode on DVD, I’m something of an aficionado, but even I know this property is too much of a dog for Mr. Jolie to even entertain the notion of headlining a movie based on a toy franchise (even to impress his gaggle of kids). Anyway, we can dream. Though I don’t know how I can top Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Courtney Cox, and Billy Barty, here’s my dream cast:

He-Man – Brad Pitt
Skeletor – Jack Valenti
Man-at-Arms – Burt Reynolds
Evil-Lyn – Angelina Jolie
Teela – Jessica Simpson (of course)
Orko – Gary Coleman or Vern Troyer (whoever’s not too busy)
The Sorceress – Drew Barrymore
Beast Man – Seth Rogen
Ram Man – Michael Chiklis
Merman – Steve Buscemi

Notice the conspicuous absence of Gwildor, the WORST CHARACTER EVER.