millivanilli256.jpgWhile not coming close to the sheer horror of Zach Braff playing Elliott Smith, the development of another music biopic has me biting my nails as well. Yes, the story of Rob and Fab themselves, known to most as Grammy winners (and losers) Milli Vanilli, is set to become the most depressing film about a French/German lip-synching duo ever to hit U.S. theaters. It’s being written by one Jeff Nathanson, whose resume includes modern classics such as “Speed 2: Cruise Control,” “Rush Hour 2,” and “The Terminal”. I can only hope this means that Fab will be played by Chris Tucker or Chi McBride, Rob by either Tom Hanks or Jason Patric (with incredible make-up by Rick Baker), and blood-sucking manager Frank Farian by the always vampiric Willem Dafoe. I have a feeling Spielberg isn’t looking to direct this one, but I fear that in the absence of his clout, we’re looking at a premiere on Sunday Night ABC and constant reruns on VH1’s so-called “Movies That Rock”. And I think the two greatest con artists of modern pop history deserve better. On the bright side, any of their song titles basically works for the movie, too: “Blame It on the Rain,” “Girl, You Know It’s True,” “I’m Gonna Miss You,” “Take It As It Comes,” uh, “Girl, You Know It’s True (N.Y. Subway Extended Mix)”…and my favorite, “Hush”.