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There are two kinds of people in this world: Bible-thumpers and sample-salers. In the revelatory documentary, “Jesus Camp,” we see a whole lot of the former. One of the key characters we follow is a 9 year-old girl named Rachel who has dreams of doing manicures for a living so that she can ramble on about the lord with her clients. At the beginning of the film, we see her at a bowling alley with a bunch of other kids. Instead of working on getting a strike and stealing bowling shoes (as all children should be doing), she’s passing out leaflets on the kingdom of heaven. Soon after, we see Becky Fischer’s Jesus Camp, where children are basically robbed of their youth in order to groom their mullets and recite passages from that very special book. She calls Harry Potter a warlock, too, which makes my opinion of her go from “twat” to another word that I would only use should I see Becky at a drive-thru. I believe the children are our future, so let’s not brainwash them, eh? A cardboard cutout of W. also makes an appearance so they can talk about “one nation under god” and/or “in god we trust.” Yeah, those phrases need to be kicked to the curb if we’re gonna actually separate church and state, people. Ted Haggard (former head of the Colorado Springs über-church) also makes an appearance before news of his alleged badonkadonk with another man got out. It’s a whole lotta crazy all around. Co-directors Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady get so much dirt just from a little point-and-shoot, but they go far beyond and capture the inner-whackjob as well. Note: Stay out of America, because it’s a scarier country than any of us thought.